"Who pays that much for rubber boots? Rubber boots are rubber boots." ~My Husband

I want to preface this post by saying there is nothing wrong with having nice things. I have NEVER been a fan of Christians who persecute other Christians for having a nice house, car, or any other blessings. Assuming you tithe and are responsible with what God's given you, it is between you and God how you choose to spend your money.

I do believe, however, that how we act about our material things can have either a negative or positive impact on those around us. Are we encouraging discontentment in our fellow believers?

At this exact moment I can name any number of things I want. A couple outfit combos I saw on pinterest, some new bedding for our room, new countertops, plane tickets, and most pressingly Seahawks NFC championship tickets...ugh! But surprisingly I can't name anything I really need. Why? well because if I really stop and think about it I have more than enough, and when a need does crop up God fills it. It may not be how I envisioned, but He fills it nonetheless.

Our house has been on the market for a while now. The other night before bed I got on a Real Estate website for kicks, just to see what was out there if our house happened to sell. I went to bed with the worst feeling of discontentment, I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking of everything our house wasn't, of everything I felt we needed. It was an icky feeling. I have vowed not to look at Real Estate until our house actually has an offer, because I know the current condition of my heart cannot handle it.

Many of us set ourselves up to feel discontent and don't even realize it. We scroll through pinterest, Instagram, and FB all day and then wonder why we feel anxious, unfinished, or empty. Then, to top it all off, we spend virtually no time in God's word pouring over the promises and gifts that are already ours! We set ourselves up! (Speaking from experience).

But sometimes we do it to each other.

Okay a little transparency here...I had a moment recently where I felt convicted of this. Some 9th grade girls in one of my classes noticed I had two pairs of Hunter Boots. Both were gifts. One from Evan when he failed to get me Seahawks tickets for my birthday (boots were only the price of one ticket so I see it as a win win):) and the other from my mom when they went on sale at Costco what! what!

"Mrs. Bratz you have two pairs?!" I don't know if I should've, but I felt the need to defend myself. "well you see, they were both gifts...i didn't buy them for myself...yada yada yada...". 

Shoot, I'm a part-time private school teacher, I don't have the money to buy every color of these boots I see on pinterest! And I most certainly don't want to set a false precedence to my 9th grade students that I live a life of excess. Especially when it is such a formative time for the self worth of a 9th grader. Needless to say, it got me thinking.

I love my boots. I will continue to wear my boots. As I said, they were gifts from people who love me. And I love to spoil the people I love. Besides, they're practical, we live in the PNW;) And rubber boots last a bajillion years right?

My point is not that nice things are bad. But my prayer and hope is that I learn to encourage contentment in others and that others encourage it in me. I pray that I would lead a transparent life that displays the real me. And that I would resist the temptation to portray myself as someone who has it all. Because that is so easy to do in this day and age. And it is most certainly not the truth. The truth looks a little more like budgeting, saving, and working really hard for most things. Can anybody relate?

Lord, help me to be content with the ultimate gift, Your Son Jesus. Give me the strength to eliminate any distractions that would cause me to feel like that isn't enough. Help me to be an encouragement to others and live a simple, transparent life that glorifies you. Thank you for all the nice things and undeserved blessings I have. Help me to use those blessings to bless others. Amen.

Shhhh...I'm in a Love Triangle

Scandalous I know. I am struggling with a dilemma I think many Christian spouses face. What role comes first, the Bride of Evan or the Bride of Christ?

See lately I have been experiencing some discouragement about my return trip to South Africa. This time around I feel more vulnerable, this time around I'm a mom, and this time around Evan isn't coming.

I had a very transparent and uplifting conversation with a dear friend I work with who serves in many ways as a spiritual mentor. It became very clear to both of us through the conversation that many of my fears and doubts would probably be erased if Evan were coming on the trip. She told me as we were speaking it was almost as if the Holy spirit was telling her heart "Will I not be there? Am I not enough? Do you not trust me to protect you? Do you honestly feel safer with your husband than ME?"

I think its fair to say that a lot of times our love with our spouse seems more tangible. Our human nature causes us to rely on what is most easily understood. But when I look at my spouse as a gift from God, as a creation of God, and someone He created with our union in mind ...well then all of a sudden I am able to worship and trust God in a whole new way. Every good and perfect thing is from Him, right? If I love and trust my spouse, how much MORE should I love and trust the One who created him?

Part of me envies how blindly I stepped out in faith two years ago. I knew much less about South Africa, and had never been. But I knew without a shadow of a doubt I was called there. I know without a shadow of a doubt I am to return. Here I am, two years later, and I am more equipped than before. But I have allowed fear to creep. Will I trust my first love? The one true Bridegroom?

We've all heard that the best way to love our spouse is to love God more. But we must grow and cultivate that relationship. It is a courtship, even more so than with our spouse. God is beckoning us to get to know Him, He is wooing us to spend time with Him. What I have learned this week is I clearly need to spend more time in God's word and in prayer in fellowship with Him.

Just as I am ready to knock the door down to see Evan and McKinley after a long day, God is even more eager to spend time with me and He longs for me to desire Him also. Will I respond to Him?

I'll end with this image I saw on pinterest a few years ago, and I have always loved it. The ultimate love triangle!