McKinley Noel

McKinley Noel,

Where to start? It's hard to put into words how grateful I am for the most precious gift I've ever been given. It was just a short year ago your dad and I were debating whether or not to drive over to the state tournament, out of fear I would give birth to you in Yakima (I'll explain Yakima when you're older). And here I am, sitting on the couch on your birthday eve (unfortunately we didnt make it to state this year, I'll explain losing when you're older also), and my heart is a pile of mush.

I've spent a lot of the past year trying to figure out why Jesus would pick me to be your mom. I've come to the conclusion that, like most things in my life, you are an undeserved outpouring of grace. Grace in its truest form. You have brought so much indescribable joy to our life, and its hard to imagine life before you.

Thank you for showing me who Jesus is. I am far from a perfect mom, yet every morning you have a beautiful smile for me and you are ALWAYS excited to see me. This is the type of unconditional love Jesus has for us. You have it too.

I am your mom so I am allowed to be biased...You are the most beautiful little girl that has ever walked this earth. Inside and out. I can tell you are already so sweet and kind. Please never forget how beautiful you are to Jesus and secondly, to us. 

You are so funny! I can tell you already have the best sense of humor (you get this from your mom ;)). You love to make people laugh and you have THE BEST giggle ever. Daddy can make you giggle the hardest. Everyone who has met you falls in love with you. You have had a very kind and engaging smile since you were first born...never lose that.

You have spent a large chunk of your first year in the gym...going from sitting, to crawling, to walking, to RUNNING all on the gym floor. You are quite the spectacle at games. I realized everyone was watching you at the halftime of a playoff game, when you ran out onto the court and fell and the whole gym went "ohhhhh" in unison. You arch your back and throw a tantrum if we stop you from running out on the court during the game. If I catch your eye behind the bench during a timeout you will give a huge smile and when I turn away you will start to cry, daddy said I was no longer allowed to look at you unless I came and got you...woops. You love to come into the locker room after the game, and Mr. Bryan (coach) taught you how to do your tongue like Michael Jordan.

Sometimes I worry about raising you in this crazy world. But then I remember there is someone who loves you even more than me or daddy, and He will protect you from all harm all the days of your life. His name is Jesus. As I put you to bed every night I pray that you would have a deep, sincere, friendship with Him. That you would really know Him. You are so fearless. (You get that from your dad). Never lose your fearlessness, dream big, and don't be scared of the future.

I adore you my sweet girl. You are my world, my joy, my BFF, my partner in crime. And even though you may not always like me, I pray you will always know I love you.

And even though my heart aches knowing you will wake up a 1 year old, I remind myself that Jesus loves us enough to not let us stay where we're at. And if I truly love you, I can't have you stay little even if it was possible. I have to let you grow up...grow up and experience the fullness of all God has waiting.

"And the child continued to grow and become strong, increasing in wisdom; and the grace of God was upon her" Luke 2:40

Give the People What They Want!

In the past year I have realized something about myself. I am a people pleaser.

Is there anyone out there who has this same problem? Where in my high school and college days I was much better at having a "whatever" mentality (especially if you ever watched me coach a basketball game in my early 20s, I really didn't care what you thought of me...or how bad I hurt your feelings), in my recent years I have tended to be a little too aware of everything.

Now I don't say this as a good thing. I am not asking you to be ultra nice to me because I really care about your feelings. I don't even like the phrase "people pleaser" because it can almost be twisted into a positive.

Because lets just call it what is....sin. Big fat sin.

I want to be transparent with this problem because I think it is something that is easy to unknowingly struggle with. It can disguise itself as caring. It can masquerade as being sensitive. This may come as a shock to many that know me ( Im a big talker), but those that are close to me have seen me toss and turn over the littlest mistake, stress over a conversation where I swear I've upset someone.

And I hate it. Just know, if you ever are really mad at me, take comfort in knowing I'm somewhere tossing and turning, miserably over-analyzing our conversation. ;)

But the Bible says this "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for man. " Colossians 3:23


Over analyzing conversations because someone might have taken something you said the wrong way. Upset that perhaps doing the right thing may offend someone else. Worried your blessing may tick someone else off. OH. WELL. 


I am getting better at saying these words...oh well. When I truly nail it down for what it is, a sin, it is much easier to rationalize from God's perspective and not my own. All of a sudden instead of thoughts like "crap, are they mad?" I hear my heart saying "well if they are my true friend they know me, and know my heart and my intentions."


If you are like me, and have found yourself struggling with similar anxious thoughts from time to time, find peace in knowing God covers us. He wraps us in His strong protective arms and shields us from all the stupid, "foot in mouth", "that came out wrong" stuff that litters our lives. And at the end of the day...the people that love us, will still love us. And isn't that all that matters?

"Who pays that much for rubber boots? Rubber boots are rubber boots." ~My Husband

I want to preface this post by saying there is nothing wrong with having nice things. I have NEVER been a fan of Christians who persecute other Christians for having a nice house, car, or any other blessings. Assuming you tithe and are responsible with what God's given you, it is between you and God how you choose to spend your money.

I do believe, however, that how we act about our material things can have either a negative or positive impact on those around us. Are we encouraging discontentment in our fellow believers?

At this exact moment I can name any number of things I want. A couple outfit combos I saw on pinterest, some new bedding for our room, new countertops, plane tickets, and most pressingly Seahawks NFC championship tickets...ugh! But surprisingly I can't name anything I really need. Why? well because if I really stop and think about it I have more than enough, and when a need does crop up God fills it. It may not be how I envisioned, but He fills it nonetheless.

Our house has been on the market for a while now. The other night before bed I got on a Real Estate website for kicks, just to see what was out there if our house happened to sell. I went to bed with the worst feeling of discontentment, I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking of everything our house wasn't, of everything I felt we needed. It was an icky feeling. I have vowed not to look at Real Estate until our house actually has an offer, because I know the current condition of my heart cannot handle it.

Many of us set ourselves up to feel discontent and don't even realize it. We scroll through pinterest, Instagram, and FB all day and then wonder why we feel anxious, unfinished, or empty. Then, to top it all off, we spend virtually no time in God's word pouring over the promises and gifts that are already ours! We set ourselves up! (Speaking from experience).

But sometimes we do it to each other.

Okay a little transparency here...I had a moment recently where I felt convicted of this. Some 9th grade girls in one of my classes noticed I had two pairs of Hunter Boots. Both were gifts. One from Evan when he failed to get me Seahawks tickets for my birthday (boots were only the price of one ticket so I see it as a win win):) and the other from my mom when they went on sale at Costco what! what!

"Mrs. Bratz you have two pairs?!" I don't know if I should've, but I felt the need to defend myself. "well you see, they were both gifts...i didn't buy them for myself...yada yada yada...". 

Shoot, I'm a part-time private school teacher, I don't have the money to buy every color of these boots I see on pinterest! And I most certainly don't want to set a false precedence to my 9th grade students that I live a life of excess. Especially when it is such a formative time for the self worth of a 9th grader. Needless to say, it got me thinking.

I love my boots. I will continue to wear my boots. As I said, they were gifts from people who love me. And I love to spoil the people I love. Besides, they're practical, we live in the PNW;) And rubber boots last a bajillion years right?

My point is not that nice things are bad. But my prayer and hope is that I learn to encourage contentment in others and that others encourage it in me. I pray that I would lead a transparent life that displays the real me. And that I would resist the temptation to portray myself as someone who has it all. Because that is so easy to do in this day and age. And it is most certainly not the truth. The truth looks a little more like budgeting, saving, and working really hard for most things. Can anybody relate?

Lord, help me to be content with the ultimate gift, Your Son Jesus. Give me the strength to eliminate any distractions that would cause me to feel like that isn't enough. Help me to be an encouragement to others and live a simple, transparent life that glorifies you. Thank you for all the nice things and undeserved blessings I have. Help me to use those blessings to bless others. Amen.

Shhhh...I'm in a Love Triangle

Scandalous I know. I am struggling with a dilemma I think many Christian spouses face. What role comes first, the Bride of Evan or the Bride of Christ?

See lately I have been experiencing some discouragement about my return trip to South Africa. This time around I feel more vulnerable, this time around I'm a mom, and this time around Evan isn't coming.

I had a very transparent and uplifting conversation with a dear friend I work with who serves in many ways as a spiritual mentor. It became very clear to both of us through the conversation that many of my fears and doubts would probably be erased if Evan were coming on the trip. She told me as we were speaking it was almost as if the Holy spirit was telling her heart "Will I not be there? Am I not enough? Do you not trust me to protect you? Do you honestly feel safer with your husband than ME?"

I think its fair to say that a lot of times our love with our spouse seems more tangible. Our human nature causes us to rely on what is most easily understood. But when I look at my spouse as a gift from God, as a creation of God, and someone He created with our union in mind ...well then all of a sudden I am able to worship and trust God in a whole new way. Every good and perfect thing is from Him, right? If I love and trust my spouse, how much MORE should I love and trust the One who created him?

Part of me envies how blindly I stepped out in faith two years ago. I knew much less about South Africa, and had never been. But I knew without a shadow of a doubt I was called there. I know without a shadow of a doubt I am to return. Here I am, two years later, and I am more equipped than before. But I have allowed fear to creep. Will I trust my first love? The one true Bridegroom?

We've all heard that the best way to love our spouse is to love God more. But we must grow and cultivate that relationship. It is a courtship, even more so than with our spouse. God is beckoning us to get to know Him, He is wooing us to spend time with Him. What I have learned this week is I clearly need to spend more time in God's word and in prayer in fellowship with Him.

Just as I am ready to knock the door down to see Evan and McKinley after a long day, God is even more eager to spend time with me and He longs for me to desire Him also. Will I respond to Him?

I'll end with this image I saw on pinterest a few years ago, and I have always loved it. The ultimate love triangle!

Why the Name? Why the Blog?

Some of you may be curious what "Dancing in the Minefields" even means. Let me explain.

I heard a beautiful song after we miscarried our first pregnancy nearly two years ago. It resonated very deeply with me, and I played it over and over again to get me through that difficult time. That song was entitled "Dancing in the Minefields" by Andrew Peterson. Some of you may know it. Its amazing. And the lyrics go something like this:

"And we went dancing in the minefields
We went sailing in the storm
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe thats what the promise is for"

Because isn't that what we all do? Daily? We go dancing through the minefields. We wake up to a fallen world that is filled with hurt, pain, fear, loss, tragedy. A minefield. At this particular moment I can name entirely way too many people who are reeling from hurt, from loss. I've been there myself. But we dance. Why? Because our hope is in something much better than this minefield.

I sometimes get frustrated at myself when I allow this world to let me down. Why am I surprised, why am I shocked at evil. This world owes me nothing...in fact God owes me nothing, I owe Him everything. And every good thing is an undeserved outpouring of grace that I can't fathom.

So I will choose to dance. Because God doesn't want us to become jaded to the evil around us. Every time our heart aches about a new hurt, that is the flicker of hope that there is more. There is always more. The song finishes with this, and its my favorite part:

"'Cause we bear the light of the Son of Man
So there's nothing left to fear
So I'll walk with you in the shadowlands
'Til the shadows disappear

'Cause He promised not to leave us
And His promises are true
So in the face of all this chaos
Baby, I can dance with you"

So this is my little blog about my daily dance through this thing we call life. It will consist mostly of Jesus, Family, Africa, and other things. Wishing everyone an amazing 2014!